Finding The Light
by KWsGladiator
Summary: Olivia Pope has lost control of her life. The only way to take control of her destiny is by letting go of the men that are the Shakespearean drama in her life. This will be an Olitz story
1. Breaking Ties

**Ok so this begins immediately after the end of 404A. However, I have changed some things to fit my vision for this story. Fitz doesn't know about Tom yet, I have my reasons. Jake was not framed for Jerry and Harrison's murders, and he is not in holding. He simply stopped returning her calls as he was tired of being used as a booty call while she pined away for Fitz, but that doesn't mean he's gone. I am leaving the possibility of his involvement in their deaths open as I have certain feelings about S4 I still need to explore and think through. As of right now, Jake is innocent. I am 1000% Olitz, but if Jake is going to be crucified, I'd rather it be for the things he's actually done. For this story, (except Jake) everything occurred in 404 including Liv's confrontation with Rowan remains, but for the purpose of this story, I have shifted their encounter to happening before the end of 404A. My endgame is always Olitz, but I can't make any promises on how I get there this time. This is very difficult for me to take this angle, so just stick with me and I promise it will work out**.

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><p><em>Transference- Displacement of affect from one person or one idea to another; in psychoanalysis, generally applied to the projection of feelings, thoughts, and wishes onto the analyst, who has come to represent some person from the person's past.<em>

****This is not the only definition, but is the one that serves parts of this update****

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><p>Gettysburger and wine. Wine and Gettysburger. Waiting for him to arrive even though he's four hours late. Should she be worried? Should she continue to wait? Should she give up? Should she eat? She wasn't really hungry, so maybe not. This is the life she chose. This is what she had been craving. This was normal. This was what she had been fighting so hard to obtain. This IS the life SHE chose. So why did it feel so wrong? It felt wrong because she was sitting at her dining room table with her now stale burger and fries (which she probably wouldn't have eaten anyway), and overly priced bottle of wine. It wasn't the best wine, the snobby kind like her father indulged in, but it was priced much higher than most could afford.<p>

Olivia Pope had the setup of a normal boring evening at home, waiting for her partner to arrive from whatever it was he was doing. The only problem was that the man she was waiting on wasn't the one she wanted. She couldn't understand why or even how her life had come to this. As Liv took a sip of her wine, her father's words began to replay over and over in her head like a broken record.

_'You raised your skirt, and opened your knees, and gave it away to a man with too much power.'_

Her father was right. But he severely underestimated her. She had given it away, but to too many men with too much power. The biggest players being the four main men in her life this moment.

With Cyrus, she had raised her political skirt and had given away her morality and ethical beliefs. She had sold her soul to the devil. She had lied, cheated, and brought death upon many, all for the man that was occupying 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Regardless of her reasons, for doing it, the fact of the matter was that she did it.

When it came to her father, she had given away her skirt of trust. Her self esteem diminished with each day she remained in boarding school, and he hadn't reached out to her. Every Christmas or birthday where she had received a card with far more money than a teenager would need, in lieu of family bonding, showed her that she wasn't important enough to carve a few hours out of any given day to spend time with. She never once complained which showed her that her loyalty could be bought, for the right price. Her daddy issues, low self esteem, and abandonment issues, landed her in the arms and beds of many men of power; but it still wasn't enough. She still wasn't obtaining what her life was lacking.

When she found herself raising not only her literal skirt, but the skirt of defense that surrounded her heart, Fitz had taken her on a ride like no other. The love they experienced together honestly scared the shit out of her as she hadn't had anyone love her unconditionally in a very long time. Fitz never tried to buy her loyalty or her love, she just gave it to him freely.

Fitz never tried to spoil her with her heart's desire, to make up for the time he couldn't or didn't have to dedicate to her. He was there, he loved her, he was in love with her and he asked for nothing in return, just her. It was almost too good to be true. It was too good to be true as he was married, with children. Then there was the little issue of him being the leader of the free world. The greatest love she had ever experienced was in the form of stolen moments, late night phone calls and hiding in the shadows. But they loved each other and they loved with all they had.

Their love scared her so much that she ran away, and lifted her skirt of truth as her self esteem dropped even further. It was better to run than to be left. It was better to break a heart, break her own heart, than to have her heart broken by someone else. She needed to protect herself from Fitz abandoning her as she had become so used to that cycle in her life.

Then there was Jake, a man who had entered her life because her father and Fitz felt the need to control her every move. When she decided to give Jake a chance, she knew he was just a crutch to help her survive not being able to have Fitz. He was single, he was available, he was not the leader of the free world, he was safe. As time went on she began to care for Jake, but it was a neediness that couldn't be described as love. The more neglected she felt by Fitz and even her father, the more Liv clung to Jake. Everything she wished, hoped, and dreamed she could do with Fitz but couldn't have, she sought out to obtain with Jake. Jake could be there when she needed him, as he wasn't a slave to the needs of the nation, at least not how Fitz was. Jake made time for her, he didn't put the republic first unlike her father. He could be there, and he was there, especially when she needed him the most.

As time went on, Liv began to rely on Jake as he helped her in ways Fitz may never understand. The one thing she wasn't expecting, was how dangerous transference could be. She had grown to depend on Jake to give her the life that Fitz couldn't presently offer her. She cared for Jake deeply, but she wasn't in love with him. Instead she kept stringing him along, because that was what SHE needed.

She honestly didn't believe she could have, would have, or deserved a normal life with the man she lived, but now everything else about her life and mental stability had been placed into question.

When she went to his office, her father went on and on about how Jake didn't truly love her, not of his own free will. He had been "trained" to love her and that he was basically obsessed with her. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she couldn't help but reflect on the past.

After Jake had saved her or himself (that part she still didn't know) from the B6-13 agent that arrived at her apartment, he told her she was his mission. When he showed up at her door battered and bruised after going missing for a month, he told her that she saved him. Thinking back, she realized she had inquired as to his whereabouts, but hadn't actually done anything to save him, not like she had with Huck. She began to wonder what exactly did go on during that month he was locked up in the hole. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the possibility was plausible.

Earlier that evening when she told Fitz she had left with Jake, and seeing his heart shatter, her heart sank as Fitz rejected her touch. Never had he withered away from her the way he had in that moment, and she felt the air and her heart, being ripped from her body. When Liv left the oval that night, she needed Jake more than anything. At least she thought she did. Four men, four different scenarios, but each of them had fucked her over either figuratively or literally over the past five years. When it came to Jake and Fitz, they had fucked her both literally and figuratively. It was time for a fresh start.

It was time she began to get her life together, because as much as she hated to admit it, she had royally fucked each one of them over as well. She had gone beyond that. She fucked over her friends, her family, her ride-or-dies. She had royally fucked over her gladiators, and the only way she could truly apologize, was to be the woman they relied on. She had already failed Harrison, and she had no idea where she and Abby were headed, but she could still do better for herself, Huck and Quinn. They still needed her example, they still needed... her.

Liv knew she would never stop loving or being in love with Fitz, she had come to accept that. But the stolen moments they had been reduced to were tearing them apart far more than they were building them up. Their relationship was now toxic, littered with too many people trying to rip them apart. The only way to even possibly see if there was anything left for them to salvage, was to take time and grow as individuals. She just wished she hadn't ruined their last kiss with information of her travel mate. She ruined that last earth shattering, soul capturing, body trembling, orgasmic kiss...

'What is wrong with you!? You're Olivia Pope! You don't pine away after men, they pine away after you! Get yourself together!"

Liv glanced down at her watch and decided that enough was enough. She picked up her phone to call Jake one last time. When it went to voicemail, she decided that he was officially ignoring her calls. There was no way she was going to indulge in another game of cat and mouse with yet another man. Confident in what she was about to do, Liv moved to do something she hadn't done in a very long time. She collected the stale dinner and disposed of it in the garbage, before popping her favorite popcorn and grabbing a bottle of wine. She would spend the evening with the two loves that never seemed to disappoint.

When everything was set up on her coffee table, she went into her bedroom and changed into her favorite white silk pajama pants with her Grant for the People T-shirt. She paused for a moment before ripping the shirt off of her body, and putting the matching silk pajama top and cashmere sweater on instead.

It had been so long since she had been able to wear her favorite pajamas. 3 months to be exact. There were no reminders of Fitz or DC allowed in Zanzibar, but Fitz hadn't bought her this pair, so it was safe, she supposed. She stood in front of the mirror, taking in her appearance as she reflected on the Shakespearean drama that is the men in her life. Between Jake and Fitz and everything that had deteriorated in both relationships, Liv just wanted time to herself. She needed time to herself. No one, not Jake, Fitz, Rowan, or Cyrus would have access to her during this time. They all had the ability to make her mistrust her gut and her heart, which meant she needed to deal with each of them as little as possible. It was time she take back her life.

Liv looked at her phone one final time. When there still was no word from Jake, she held down his contact info and once she saw the pop up, selected the block number option. She then went through her contacts and did the same for the White House, Fitz phone, and Cyrus' contacts. She left his black number open, just in case of an actual emergency, all other calls would go straight to voicemail.

Once those contacts were blocked, she moved on to the final person. She pulled up her father's contacts, all 15 of them, and blocked each number, one by one. She changed her personal voicemail greeting, stating she needed time to herself to make some decisions. She was safe, and would let them know when she was ready to be bothered. When she saved her greeting and set down her phone, Liv began to wonder. Out of curiosity, she decided to dial the number to her Fitz phone. Sure it was broken, but she hadn't told Fitz that. To her surprise, it was still active.

She left a more personal greeting on that one, telling him that they needed to grow into the people they wanted to be, before they could even begin to think of a life as "them". She told him that this time she would be doing this alone, and she would be remaining in DC. She told him that if he truly loved her, he'd give her this time to figure out who she was and where her life was going. She needed time to find the woman she used to be, the woman she knew she could be and flourish into a more profound version of the woman he fell in love with. She told him she would still be there to help if a crisis should arise, but she would remain behind the scenes. Before she lost the nerve, Liv added an "I'm sorry for everything I have ever done to hurt you, and I love you so very much. More than you'll ever know".

When her greetings were finished, Liv sent a quick text to Huck, and asked him to see about getting her a new reinforced door. Something where the locks couldn't be picked or hacked, and would be near impossible to kick in. Huck responded that he was on it, and that he would be present for installation the next day.

Now that everything was in order, Liv walked back to her sofa and began her date with her trusty companions, popcorn and wine. With a heavy sigh, she turned on her tv and slouched into the sofa's cushions. When BNC Nightly News appeared, Liv decided she was going to take a break from the fast paced-scandalous life of DC. If there was a crisis, people knew how to get a hold of her. So, Liv flipped through the channels until she finally came across Jimmy Kimmel Live. For the first time in five years, Liv relaxed completely, and enjoyed her first night on just being.

When Kimmel went off, Liv flipped through the movie channels. She had spent thousands of dollars for cable over the years, and had only benefitted from the national and international media packages. It was time for her to see exactly what else her money was buying her. Opting for something light, Liv settled on Just Friends, and curled further into her sofa with her popcorn and wine. Not once did she look at her phone or laptop through the entire movie. Before she knew it, her eyelids were growing heavy, and she decided to turn in for the evening.

The next morning when she awoke, Liv wasn't shocked to find Huck already working with the installers on her new door. The security feature on this door was only what Liv could describe as being something out of a movie. There was a normal key lock, but there was also a remote, that only unlocked the door when her fingerprint was scanned. Part of the exterior wall had been removed, allowing the door and it's track to be placed. Because the sliding security door was now inside of the wall, it would make it harder for someone to kick in. It sort of reminded her of the door to the bunker, but it was metal with wooden exterior, and looked much very like her old door. She knew Fitz would be notified to the changes made to the apartment as his name was on the deed. When she took the job as Communications director, Fitz had purchased her apartment as well as Cyrus' home, under the Grant Administration account. The funds for her apartment however, had been transferred from his personal account.

When she first left the white house, she considered moving. That was until Cyrus showed up at her door one evening, convincing her that although she no longer worked for the white house, Fitz wanted nothing more than to have her remain in her home. She was after all a dear friend, and considering the launching of the OPA, she would still hopefully remain the administration's closest, most trusted advisor.

He was always so generous with her, but the way Fitz always looked after her, left Liv feeling conflicted. She knew he wanted to take care of her, but she could honestly take care of herself. She always had. She loved that he didn't want her to want for anything, but there were things she needed to do on her own.

The OPA was a prime example. When she went to open the OPA, Liv was in the prime position to acquire the loans needed to do things on her own. She should have been thankful when people moved mountains to help her reach her goals and open the business in less than a month, but she couldn't help but be upset, as each "stroke of luck", had Fitz written all over it.

When her name was leaked and Fitz found out her business was failing as a result, Fitz purchased the OPA, saving her from losing everything she had worked so hard for. He had given her the deed for the entire building that housed the OPA, and the house in Vermont at the same time. Both properties were solely in her name, but the apartment was in his. It was why her home was still waiting for her when she returned, with no disruptions to her belongings. Just thinking about it she felt bad that she had allowed another man... men into what was supposed to be their sanctuary, but not once did Fitz ever throw it in her face. Fitz, instead, loved her in spite of the things she constantly did to hurt him. She loved the fact that Fitz loved her as she lived him too. She just needed him to realize that she didn't want him for his money or what he could do for her. She wasn't Mellie. All she wanted was him.

Liv was pulled out of her thoughts as Huck flopped down on the sofa next to her. She had been so absorbed in her memories, she hadn't realized the men had finished and gone on their way.

"The hallway looks just as it did before they arrived. Everything is good." Huck said as he handed her the remote to her door. He spent the next half hour showing her the security features, and guiding her on what to do if there was ever a power failure. Apparently the door had been connected to a small generator which would be activated by pressing a button on her remote.

"Thanks Huck. I feel much safer now."

Huck knew Liv was referring to Jake and Fitz, and not just some intruder. Being a single woman living alone in DC could be dangerous, but the relationships she was currently in, and the turmoil that surrounded her from the men in her life, could be lethal.

Huck alerted Liv that he had the second remote, in case of an emergency which made her feel even safer. With deadbolts on the top, bottom, and side of the door, Liv could breathe easier knowing Huck could get to her if there was an emergency. Huck stayed with Liv a little longer, and the two of them remained content in their peaceful silence. After a while, Huck managed to force her to eat and drink something from an authentic set of food groups. When he was happy with her nourishment, Huck said his goodbyes and told her he would see her the next day.

Since she was taking the day off, Liv made her way into her bedroom and changed into her black yoga pants and her GWU t-shirt. She went into the living room, and spent the next few hours doing yoga and meditating. After she finished her sessions, Liv searched through the phone book and decided it wouldn't hurt if she talked to someone about what she has been going through. She picked up her house phone and made a few calls, and in minutes she had scheduled an appointment to begin therapy. Through all of this, not once did Liv check her cell phone.

She didn't know what the future held, but she knew that she was on her way to rediscovering Olivia Pope. In time would come her truth. Then and only then, would she be able to see the light.

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><p>Six months had passed without any interactions with Cyrus, Jake, Rowan, or Fitz. Once a month Fitz would still send a dozen white lilies to the OPA, but he had stopped leaving notes to accompany the flowers. Jake still sent a dozen orchids every month, but like Fitz, he had stopped sending notes with the flowers as well. Although she truly missed the notes, she was thankful they were somewhat honoring her wishes.<p>

Every morning, Huck would go through her voicemail and erase any messages left by Cyrus, Fitz, Jake, or Rowan. He would also clear her blocked call list so she wouldn't know who had been calling her. It was something she had asked of Huck after seeing both Fitz and Jake had left her numerous voicemails one night.

Two weeks into her search for Olivia Pope, Liv had begun seeing a therapist, and she was able to begin sorting through her issues one step at a time.

It had taken until her tenth session for Liv to finally open up about even the tiniest of things. Growing frustrated with the hour long staring contests, her therapist suggested they use false names to symbolize the people she was struggling to deal with. He knew Liv was a high profile person, who had dated some high profile people, including one extremely high profile person if the rumors had been true.

The name substitution had worked like a charm, and Liv soon began speaking freely, sometimes even throwing caution to the wind and using their real names. She knew she was safe in her revelations as an iron clad NDA had been signed, serving as reinforcement on top of the HIPPA laws that were already in place. As added reassurance, Liv knew the threat of being utterly destroyed by Olivia Pope should anything she spoke come to light, would surely prompt her therapist to remain discreet.

Over the past six months they had made progress. Whether it was significant or not depend upon which person you asked. When she left her last appointment, her therapist encouraged her to throw herself out there and begin forging healthy relationships either with people she did or didn't know. Based on everything Liv had told him so far, he was surprised she always seemed so confident and sure of herself when she was delivering a speech on tv.

Liv had done everything her therapist had challenged from adopting a pet from the SPCA to appease her need of being needed and loved unconditionally by demanding forces, all the way to having date nights with herself and getting to know Olivia Pope all over again. She had to admit that she had changed over the past few months. The major change being that the nightmares had stopped. There were also other changes however big they may or may not have been, but they did not go unnoticed by Huck or Quinn.

By the end of the second month, Liv was coming to work everyday with a genuine smile on her face. She no longer spent hours just gazing out of the window, staring at the White House. Now she was more focused than she had ever been, and she was able to keep her clients first at all times. She did have moments here and there when she would see Fitz on tv or a particular anniversary in their relationship had passed. Instead of breaking down, Liv reached out to her therapist, and they created a calendar of potential harmful events. Those were the weeks her sessions were upped, so she could safely work through her feelings. This schedule came in handy, especially when Jerry and Harrison's birthdays came around.

Liv wasn't as distracted as she had been over the past few years, and the three of them would even go out and have a nice dinner two, sometimes three nights a week. To many it seemed like friends just having a good time, but to them, it was the early stages of repairing their broken family.

By the middle of the third month, Abby had begun joining Liv in a few sessions a month. They were terribly missing one another, but Abby couldn't understand why Liv had abandoned them. Going one step further, Abby demanded to know why Liv didn't allow her family to be there for her. But they had been friends far too long, to give up on each other now. By the end of the third month, Abby had begun joining Liv, Huck, and Quinn on their dinner dates. Eventually, Abby, Liv, and Quinn began having girl's nights either at one of their apartments, or a night out on the town. They were finally beginning to behave like the friends they needed to be.

Liv was now more open and talkative about her life to her friends. She didn't keep things bottled in. Although she kept her past with Fitz tightly guarded around them, there wasn't anything about the present or any other non-Fitz related moment that she didn't mind sharing. Things were beginning to look up for Olivia Pope, and even though she would be the first to admit she wasn't 100%, she could at least acknowledge she was on the right path.

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><p>One slow day at the OPA, Liv decided to glance over the news. The White House was set to host a dinner a month from now, and although Liv had received her invitation in the mail, she wasn't sure she would attend. It wasn't that she didn't want to go, but she didn't trust herself to be in the presence of Fitz. She knew what seeing her dressed up would do to him, and she wasn't oblivious to the fact that her response to seeing him would be similar. She could feel the progress she was making, and although it wasn't anything significant to her, she didn't want to lose it. She was finally obtaining a slice of normal, and Liv never thought in a million years, she'd obtain it as a single woman.<p>

"We've got incoming!" Huck yelled, effectively pulling Liv from her thoughts. She stood and straightened her white Armani pants suit, and made her way out of her office. Like a small army of soldiers, Huck, Quinn, and Liv marched out to the foyer, and met their guest as they were stepping off of the elevator.

"Why Olivia Pope as I live and breathe. May I say you look stunning."

Liv's breath hitched as she took in the man standing before her. It had been a while since she had seen him, but time definitely made him look even better than before. Her eyes roamed his body from head to toe, as his eyes were clearly doing the same. After a few beats, Liv slipped back into gladiator mode.

"What can I do for you?" She asked with a blank face, although she knew where this could possibly be headed.

"I came to ask you to dinner. A night on the town. Anything to just be in alone in your presence."

"You know I can't do that and as much as I'd like to, you know why."

"But you see, that no longer flies with me. I have grown a lot since the last time you saw me and I am a man that knows what he wants. I simply won't take no for an answer."

Liv stood tall, determined to not let her confidence and determination falter. Power, grace, and poise exuded from her stance. On the inside she was crumbling, fighting to hold on to her resolve. The time they had spent together in the past made her wonder what things could be like for them. She knew of his past, but like all people she associated with, Huck had kept an eye on him, and all of his reports have been glowing. Liv desperately wanted to say yes as this may actually be good for her. She quickly brushed it off because she had rules in place for a reason. They were rules that shouldn't be broken.

"Look, -" Liv paused for a moment, as she gathered her thoughts. "As much as I would love to go out with you and just let go of everything, even if for just one night, you know why I can't."

Her suitor was staring her down, daring her to believe what she was saying was true. He saw the doubt in her eyes, and decided it was time to make his move.

"For the one reason you can say no, there are so many more reasons why you should say yes. Say yes Olivia, say you will give me the chance to show you the new me, the real me. Give me a chance to get to know the new you, the real you. If you want me to get on my knees and beg, I will." Her suitor then got on his knees, and folded his hands as he looked up at her with puppy dog eyes. "Please Olivia Pope give me the honor of treating you with the utmost admiration, respect, admiration, and possibly one day love. Give me the chance to treat you the way you deserve to treated, spoil you the way you deserve to be spoiled."

Liv's resolve was weakening by the second, and before she realized what she was saying, a "Yes" had escaped her lips in a voice so sensual, she didn't believe it was her own. Her suitor reached out and grabbed her hand, and placed a soft lingering kiss on each finger, before standing and placing an equally lingering kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you Olivia. I promise you will not regret this. I'll pick you up tomorrow night at 7." He said before turning quickly on his heels and making his way towards the elevator.

Liv stood there frozen with the goofiest smile on her face as she watched her suitor disappear as the elevator lowered. With her hand pressed on her cheek where his lips had been just moments before, Liv made her way back towards her office with an extra spring in her step. Huck and Quinn noticed the shift in Liv's mood, and although they had given her and her suitor some privacy, they knew what had to have transpired between them. Huck was honestly happy Liv was coming further out of her shell, but Quinn was worried about what this would mean in light of recent breaking events.

Liv walked into her office and floated down into her chair, completely oblivious to what was going on in the world around her. Thoughts of a date with her suitor quickly flooded her mind, and she immediately began reflecting through her wardrobe, trying to decide what she would wear. Liv was lost in her own world, until the headline that was splayed across the TV caught her eye. She immediately turned the tv up and her mouth fell open in shock as the news announcer began to speak.

"This just in. It is official. As of 7:52 this evening, President Grant and First Lady Mellie Grant are officially divorced. The couple split earlier in the year on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, following the death of their eldest child, 16 year old Fitzgerald Thomas Grant IV who passed away from bacterial meningitis, just hours before his father was re-elected into office.

For months speculation surrounded the mental well being of the former first lady as she had seemed to at one point have given up on everything including her two surviving children. Mellie Helmsworth reclaimed her maiden name, and returned to North Carolina to her family estate upon their separation. She shocked the nation when she waived alimony, and financial assistance from the president, stating she had the means to support herself.

During the past six months of their separation, President Grant has been making drastic moves that have gained the approval from both Republicans and democrats alike. His approval ratings are at a shocking 98.7%, the highest we have seen from any president to date.

It is said that Theodore "Teddy" Grant and Karen Grant, the two surviving Grant children, will remain with President Grant until his term in the white house is over. Karen will be removed from boarding school and will reside at the white house full time, where she attend a local private school, and will take on the role of first lady for the time being.

Once president Grant's term is over, custody arrangements will be reevaluated. President Grant is the first president to successfully divorce his wife while in office, and now America is curious to see if he will take on a new first lady in the future, or if he will finish out his term as a single man."

Liv clicked off the tv and allowed the weight of what she had just heard to sink in. She had spent five years fighting Fitz on his divorce, and it seemed like she had worried for nothing. Although he was divorced, Liv knew she couldn't allow herself to get excited just yet. She was nowhere near ready to take on the life Fitz wanted for them, and she knew that jumping into the fire so quickly, would prove to be disastrous for them both.

She wondered how he was really doing in the wake of his divorce. She knew him, and high approval ratings meant Fitz was throwing himself into his work. He was already a great president, but he was the man she knew he could be, when he wasn't spending most of his day, worrying about her.

Liv knew that since she had pushed them both away, Fitz and Jake hadn't exactly made amends, but they were a little more than civilized towards each other. With Liv no longer being a prize to be won, their friendship seemed to be on the mend as they adapted the "bros before hos" mentality.

Liv couldn't help but laugh she could picture them comparing stories of their time with her. Maybe they were sitting around around a round table, holding meetings on Wednesday nights. An ex-boyfriend of Olivia Pope self help meeting, she could totally see it. It's not like they wouldn't have quite an impressive turnout of of DC's most powerful men, all show up to regale the leader of the free world with stories of how Olivia Pope had broken their hearts as well. The thought of breaking Fitz's heart was quite sobering in the moment. She wasn't ready to let him go just yet, but she also wasn't ready to be his Livvie so soon either.

Becoming fed up with the direction her thoughts were taking, Liv pushed all thoughts of Fitz, Jake, and everything else to the back of her mind. She had to admit that she was more than a little excited for her date the following evening. No matter what happened, Liv promised herself then and there that she would keep an open mind, and not allow thoughts of Fitz, Jake, or anyone to taint their evening.

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><p>The following evening came much quicker than Liv had anticipated. She had just showered, and was now sorting through her wardrobe, deciding on the perfect dress to wear for the evening. She knew that this date would make it to some form of media publication as she hadn't been seen in public with anyone in this capacity in almost a year. Her last photo op was a stroll through the park with Jake just months before the election.<p>

Liv briefly wondered how he was doing since she had shut him out of her life. Although it wasn't blatant, she knew the signs that he had been keeping watch over her. Between Fitz and Jake and their constant surveillance, Liv knew she should feel like the most protected person in DC. So why did she feel the exact opposite? She thought back briefly to her time on the island with Jake and how he had been there for her when he needed her most. It wasn't that she didn't want Fitz to be there for her, but he had responsibilities that prevented him from being what she needed him to be in that moment.

When they first left for the island, Liv wasn't prepared for how her mind would begin to finally process everything that had happened over the previous year.

At first it was her inability to eat. Wine had become her main source of calories during that first week. Then, came the restless nights, which she turned to a mixture of wine and scotch. She would drink and drink until she passed out. A week into her "new life", things took an unexpected turn for the worse. When the day of Jerry's funeral arrived, the nightmares began. Night after night Liv couldn't close her eyes without the nightmares coming. To make matters worse, the nightmares were all relatively the same.

_Liv was sitting in a boat in the middle of the Indian ocean. The water was eerily calm, and it looked as if a storm was rolling in. She would hear someone crying for help, asking her to save them. As she sat, one voice turned to two, then five as her father's voice blared overhead._

_'Everyone is worth saving Liv. The question is, can you save them all?"_

_Liv would turn to the first voice and quickly realized it belonged to Jerry. She would try to row to him, but her paddles were missing. She tried to use her arms to propel the boat to the boy, but the boat only went in circles. Feeling helpless, Liv would jump into the water and try to swim to the drowning boy, but her body wouldn't move. No matter how hard she kicked, she was simply rooted in place_.

_For the first week it was only Jerry. Then came Harrison. The second week the dreams began the same, but as she sat in the boat, she would hear Harrison and Jerry arguing over who she should save. Each night she seemed to find her way to one or the other, but as she approached them, a huge tide would come, and wash them further out into the ocean. All of her efforts were for naught as they both drowned._

_By the third week, Fitz had been added into the mix, and she could see them all fighting to stay afloat. Again, they were all arguing over who she should save, but Fitz was screaming for Liv to save Jerry. She wanted to save them all, and she began to panic as she couldn't begin to imagine her life without Fitz in it. Once again, she managed to find her way to someone, but no matter who she tried to save, they would all be washed further out into the ocean, where they would drown just like before._

_It wasn't until the fourth week in, that her mother came into the dream. She too was drowning begging to be saved. Fitz was still screaming for her to save Jerry. By the fifth week, her father came into the dream, only Liv noticed that as he was drowning, he wasn't asking for help like the others. He had this laugh, this menacing laugh and as she looked out from her boat, she noticed that he was holding everyone else under water._

The night her father entered her dream, Liv woke up screaming. Unlike the other times, Liv's screams caused Jake to flee into her room, and when she finally came around, Liv realized Jake was by her side. He was there with her, he was there for her. She may not have been able to save the Fitz or Jerry from the ominous cost of another four years in the white house. She wasn't able to save her mother and father from themselves or each other. But she had been able to save him.

That night Jake held Liv and calmed her fears. Before she knew what was happening, she was kissing him feverishly. They made love on the island for the first time that night, and as Liv woke up the next morning, she realized the dream hadn't returned. Jake became her rock during that time and although it was wrong of her to use him as she did, he made the nightmares go away. So she embraced her time with Jake, as well as the life it seemed she would now be living.

Of course thinking back, after everything she had been told, Liv wonders if Jake was being authentic when he proclaimed his feelings for her. She wonders if everything that had happened on the island was the real Jake Ballard, or if it was simply what her father had trained him to be. Feeling herself slip back into that place she didn't want to be, Liv pushed the thoughts from her mind, and continued preparing for her date.

Reaching into her closet, Liv opted for a sexy yet simple black dress. The sleeveless dress loosely clung to her torso, and flared out at the hips, serving to accentuate her curves in a subtle fashion. The dress itself stopped just below mid thigh. The length coupled with the scooped neck design, her red Louboutin 4" heels, smokey eyes, and red lip, added just the right amount of sexy to her otherwise innocent attire. Her hair was pin straight, with diamond hair clip pinning up the right side.

Liv chose to wear her black pearl earrings and matching necklace to finish off her look. As she stared into her jewelry box, her breath hitched as she took in the gold infinity ring that was nestled inside of it's cushion. Next to it was a ring with two interlocking hearts that Jake had given her on the island. She considered wearing them both, but decided it was best if she went into this date without any reminders of what she was recovering from. Instead, Liv took out a simple gold ring that held a black pearl in the center. She sprayed a bit of her Chanel no 5 perfume, and made her way to the door. Just as she reached the end of the hallway, she heard the bell ring. Liv checked her makeup in the mirror one last time, before glancing at the monitor to ensure it was her date who was at the door.

"Right on time." Liv said as she opened the door and took in the man before her. He was dressed in a sleek black Brooks Brothers suit, with a white button up shirt, and a red tie, which matched her shoes to perfection.

"Honestly, I've been outside in the car for the past half hour. I didn't want to be late. You look amazing Olivia." He said as he nervously ran his hand over the back of his neck. He finally found the courage to meet her gaze, and when he looked into Liv's eyes, the warmth he saw calmed his nerves and warmed his heart.

"Here, these are for you." He said as he handed her the bouquet of party diamonds lilies with pink and white roses accenting the bouquet. "I know roses are cliche for a first date, so I wanted to add in something different."

"Thank you, they're beautiful. Why don't you come in and I'll put these in water and then we can go." Liv said as she made her way towards the kitchen. She reached into the cupboard which thanks to Fitz and Jake, was now full of vases. She searched through the cupboards and found a vase she had bought when she and Abby had gone shopping at an antique store a few years ago. Happy with her decision, Liv filled it with water before placing the flowers inside. Once the flowers were arranged to her liking, Liv carried the vase into the living room, and placed it on the table by the front door.

"I'm ready when you are." She said with a genuine smile on her face. Her date extended his bent arm, which Liv slid hers through gracefully, and the two of them were on their way.

The restaurant they went to was one of the classiest in DC. Liv knew first hand there was a long waiting list, and reservations had to be made in advance. A few times when she hadn't felt like waiting for a reservation, she had Huck hack into the restaurant's computer and secure a reservation for her. The other times, well, there was no need for a reservation as she had gone with Fitz who had shut the entire restaurant down, allowing them to just relax and enjoy the evening. She began to ponder how he got reservations on such short notice, but quickly remembered his status and immediately had her answer.

They enjoyed dinner and simply talking about any and everything that came to mind. Liv felt good being able to go out for the evening on the arm of a handsome gentleman without having to hide, or being overcome with guilt that she was betraying the man she loved with his best friend. She was able to relax, and found that she and her date had a lot of the same views and beliefs. She had known him for quite some time, but never like this. This was... Refreshing.

As the night went on, the two of them enjoyed salsa dancing at a local club, and then went for a stroll through the park. They laughed, talked, and even settled into comfortable silence. Liv hadn't felt this carefree in years, and felt her heart sink when the night came to an end. As he walked her to her door, he placed a chaste kiss on her lips, and the two of them made plans to see one another again the following evening.

Once Liv was safely in her apartment, she quickly stripped off her clothing and slipped into her lavender silk pajamas. She then went into the bathroom to remove her makeup and perform her nighttime rituals. When she was finished Liv climbed into bed, deciding to forgo the wine as she was feeling good. She lay in bed, reflecting on the wonderful evening she had just experienced, and wondered if the following night would be just as exciting. As excited as she was for the next date, Liv couldn't help but feel as if she were cheating on Fitz.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so, I want to say that I have not given up on or abandoned my other stories. I promised I wouldn't stop writing, even with the way S4 is going. I cannot deny however that I was in denial. Lack of Olitz is seriously killing my mojo for my main stories, and I find myself needing Olitz to heal so we can end this bullshit revolving door of heart ache. I honestly don't know when I will have the drive to continue my other stories, but I promise you Olitz won't be apart for long. So let me know what you think, and who you think Liv is dating. I guarantee, you will not guess this one. XOXO<strong>


	2. Taking A Chance

**I am not feeling well and tried to write this chapter through a haze of medicine. So if it doesn't make much sense, please forgive me. This is mainly a filler chapter to give you some insight on Liv's current relationship. To those of you who are sad that I am not writing Olitz, give it time. This will be nothing like what we are seeing on tv, but this is what I personally need, and based on reviews, many of you need as well. I could just throw Olitz together, but I want to try to bring them together in a healthy light, and nothing healthy can come from them never working on their own issues as individuals. Either way, I hope you enjoy. **

Jake sat behind his desk and allowed himself to absorb his surroundings. It had been so long since he had occupied his office in the pentagon. Getting back to this point was no easy feat, but after Liv had decided she was cutting both Fitz and himself out of the picture for a while, he was able to convince Fitz to help him get his old job back. Fitz was more than willing to help an old frenemy as it seemed without Olivia Pope being the object of both of their obsessions, the men didn't really have a reason to fight.

Deciding to indulge in his morning ritual, Jake propped his feet up and reclined back in his chair. Since he had forgone breakfast, he was more than appreciative that his secretary had secured a blueberry muffin and a large coffee along with his morning paper. Jake took a long gulp of the scalding liquid and winced as it scorched the lining of his throat. Pleased with the sugar to creamer ratio, Jake set the coffee down and unfolded his newspaper.

When he had successfully unfolded the paper, Jake sat up in shock as he noticed Liv gracing the front page (above the fold). She was as beautiful as ever. The past six months seemed to have done her justice as she held a glow even on the print that he hadn't seen in her before. Jake continued to scan the picture and wondered if the gentleman she was with had something to do with said glow. Feeling a little more than betrayed, Jake picked up the phone and proceeded to make a phone call. He needed answers, and damnit, he needed them now.

* * *

><p>Cyrus sat behind his desk and allowed himself to absorb his surroundings. Many men craved the kind of power that Cyrus had been able to secure. He wondered if they would still crave the power, if they knew the price they had to obtain to achieve it. He had lost his husband and his best friend in attempts to cling on to the powers that be. He struggled every day when he woke up and lifted Ella out of her crib, wondering if she would hate him as she got older. He chose power over love and in return, Ella lost her father, and her godmother. He knew that he could never take back the horrible things he had said and done to James, but he wondered if it was too late to save things with his best friend. What in the world could he possibly do to repair the damage his thirst for power had created between himself and Olivia Pope?<p>

Deciding to indulge in his morning ritual, Cyrus propped his feet up and reclined back in his chair. Since he had forgone breakfast, he was more than appreciative that Mary, his secretary had secured a spinach and feta cheese omelet, turkey bacon, and a large coffee along with his morning paper. Cyrus took a long gulp of the scalding liquid and winced as it scorched the lining of his throat. Pleased with the sugar to creamer ratio, Cyrus set the coffee down and unfolded his newspaper.

When he had successfully unfolded the paper, Cyrus sat up in shock as he noticed Liv gracing the front page (above the fold). She was always a beautiful woman. She had the power to bring any man, including himself to their knees. Looking at Liv wearing a smile that he hadn't seen since their first tour on the campaign, Cyrus couldn't help but wonder exactly what she had been up to since she cut him out of her life. The past six months seemed to have done her justice as she held a glow that was visible even on the print that he hadn't seen in a long time. Cyrus continued to scan the picture and wondered if the gentleman she was with had something to do with said glow. Cyrus took in the way the gentleman leaned in to her and seemed to be whispering something in her ear. Liv was turned into his body, clearly entertaining whatever it was he was whispering to her.

Cyrus couldn't help but admit that Liv looked happy, but even so, uneasiness came over him. He sat for a few moments more and realized that at any given time, Fitz would be sitting down with his cup of coffee and opening this morning's newspaper where the love of his life, on a date with another man, was currently the main headline. Cyrus jumped up from his desk, not realizing he had knocked over his coffee. He grabbed his cell phone and dialed a number he had used many times as he left his office in haste. As the phone continued to ring, Cyrus prayed that he wasn't too late.

* * *

><p>Rowan climbed into the backseat of his town car, ready to begin his day. He had seen the headline story of this morning's newspaper, and was prepared for his phone to begin ringing at any moment. The men in his daughter's life were too predictable. They would all come to him crying, whining, and not understanding how he could allow her to be with such a man as the one she had been photographed with over the weekend. They'd want to know what he was thinking not talking any sense into her when they knew exactly the kind of man he was. Rowan had to admit that his daughter's new beau didn't truly strike him as being her type, but considering her type and the men that filled those qualifications, Rowan couldn't help but to think that maybe, just maybe this man could be the one.<p>

As his town car pulled off and made its way towards the Smithsonian, Rowan looked down as his phone began to ring. Noticing that Jake Ballard was the caller, Rowan simply pressed ignore, and allowed the call to be directed to voicemail. Just before he placed his phone into his pocket, the phone rang again. "So predictable" he uttered to no one in particular as this time Cyrus Beene was the guilty party to interrupt his moment of silence. He rode the rest of the ride in complete silence until his phone rang a third time. This time Rowan decided to answer the call.

"Mr. President. To what do I owe the honor of your call on this beautiful morning?" Rowan asked although they both knew full well the reason for Fitz's call.

Fitz sat behind his desk and gathered his words carefully before responding. "Is she okay?" Fitz asked simply, taking Rowan by surprise.

"Mr. President, as you know she had cut all ties with me just as she has with you, Mr. Beene, and Jake Ballard."

"But I know you wouldn't let her out of your sights. Even if you do maintain your distance, you have people keeping an eye on her. So I will ask you again; Is she okay?"

"Yes Mr. President. She is okay."

Fitz let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding in. Her safety was the most important thing in his life. He only had one more question, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to hear the answer to it. Deciding to just rip the band aid off of the wound, Fitz just came out with it.

"Is... Is she h-happy?" Fitz asked through the lump in his throat. Honestly Fitz didn't want Liv to be happy with anyone other than himself, but he loved her enough to stand back and allow her to obtain all of the happiness she deserved. He had let her go numerous times before and she had always come back to him. If she was truly his, he'd let her go and have this time. Providing it is meant to be, she will return.

Rowan took a deep breath as he honestly felt sorry for the pathetic sap. If it had been under any other circumstances, maybe, just maybe he would have been able to accept a younger, unmarried, non-power holding Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III as a proper suitor for his daughter's hand. But the fact that the married president of the United States of America willingly entered into a relationship with his daughter while still married to another woman, still left a sour taste in his mouth. Of course Fitz was divorced now, but did that honestly mean that he could refrain from doing to his daughter what he had already done to his now ex-wife?

Knowing the man did in fact love his daughter was the reason that Rowan decided to entertain this phone call to begin with. He had seen the many times that Fitzgerald Grant had tried to give it all up so he could pursue a life with his daughter. It was gravely unfortunate that his job was to eliminate threats against the republic. This meant destroying his daughter's confidence and her spirit, to keep these two apart. Once news of the divorce had become public and Fitz's approval ratings soared, Rowan had considered giving Fitz his blessing to go after Liv, but that was until a new suitor entered the midst.

"Yes Mr. President, she's happy. At least she seems to be… sir." Rowan answered truthfully.

"That's all I want for her. To be happy… Thank you Rowan…" Fitz disconnected the call before Rowan had the chance to respond.

Fitz looked down at the newspaper article with a heavy heart. He loved Olivia Pope with everything he had in him. So much so that at one point her absence had almost cost him his life. As he glanced over the picture of a radiant Liv, he couldn't help but notice that she wasn't wearing her ring. He silently wondered if she had discarded of it, or if she was simply keeping it safe in the off chance that they would one day find their way back to one another. Whatever had happened to it, Fitz was glad that Liv was getting herself together. The past year and a half had been difficult on everyone, but especially her.

Fitz folded the paper and stashed it into the bottom desk drawer and smiled when he saw the Fitz phone still tucked in the back corner. He hadn't used it in so long as they would often change their greetings to brief messages the other could access. Fitz pulled the phone out and was surprised when he realized it still held a charge. He dialed the number to Liv's phone, and closed his eyes as he listened to the greeted she had recorded solely for him.

A lone tear escaped Fitz's eye as the recording came to an end. He wondered if she had left this message the same time she had the other on her personal cell phone. He even wondered if she still meant every word on the recording. Only time would tell he supposed as he flipped the phone closed and placed it back into his drawer along with the newspaper. As the drawer began to close, once again hiding the contents inside, the words that would prove to be Fitz's saving grace played over and over again in his head.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours…."

* * *

><p><strong> Three weeks later<strong>

Liv sat at her desk with her head resting heavily on her arms. She hadn't been feeling well for the past few days, but today had to have been the worst. Both Quinn and Huck had tried to get her to go home and rest, but she refused stating she had far too much work to do. Since she was too sick to interact with clients, they forced her to sit in her office until she finally decided to go home. Liv had managed to stick it out for the past four hours, but could tell she was only getting worse. Before she had a chance to pick up her phone to call for a car service to take her home, she felt a familiar pair of strong arms swoop in and pick her up.

"Why senator, what are you doing here?" Liv asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Well my dear, I came to take you to lunch. Imagine my surprise when I arrive and Huck and Quinn tell me that you are still sick. So, I made a few calls and had the remainder of my appointments rescheduled for tomorrow. "

"Why?"

"Well, now that the rest of my day is clear, I can take my girl home and nurse her back to health."

Liv looked into his eyes and couldn't help but smile. Over the past few weeks, Liv and her beau had grown fairly close. She hadn't felt the same sparks with him that she had felt with Fitz, but there was definitely something there. The jolt of electricity that surged through her veins whenever they touched still caused her breath to hitch. Deciding it would be nice to have someone, especially this someone pamper her for the next few hours, Liv simply rested her head on his broad, muscular chest, and closed her eyes. She could tell he was waiting for her to argue with him as that is what Olivia Pope does. This time, she decided to listen to what her therapist had been trying to tell her and just stand down, and allow him to do his thing.

"Okay." She whispered as she nuzzled her head under his chin.

"Okay?" He asked somewhat surprised. He knew she had been working with her therapist on learning when to hand over the reins, but he was shocked it came about this quickly.

"Okay." She said again with conviction in her voice. "You're the man so I will stand down and do whatever you say."

Huck and Quinn watched on stunned as Liv was carried from the OPA to an awaiting town car. Never in their wildest dreams did they think they'd ever meet the man who could make Olivia Carolyn Pope stand down. Although she was sick, they had a feeling that they would've seen the same results had she been well. Since Liv was off for the rest of the day to relax and recuperate, Huck and Quinn decided to get back to work.

**XoXoXoXoX**

The ride back to Liv's apartment took no longer than 30 minutes with traffic. It hadn't gone unnoticed by her that her feet had yet to hit the ground as she was carried from the town car up to her home. She had to admit that it was nice having someone to look after her when she needed without having to worry about whether or not they would be caught and publicly shamed, or if their motives were pure. It also felt good to be in someone's arms without worrying about her father stirring the pot in their relationship.

Over the past three weeks, Liv had enjoyed living life like a normal person. She would wake up, go to work, and indulge in mid-day phone calls with her beau. They spent many nights at either her place or his curled up on the sofa with great takeout, wine, and a movie. They had even spent a few nights out on the town, but not many as he was thankfully an indoor person just as much as Liv was.

Things were going great between them, and Liv had to admit that she was beginning to grow feelings for this man. The feelings were nothing like what she experienced with Fitz, but she often wondered if that level of love was even considered healthy for two people to share. They had not gone as far as making love, but they had often come close. Whenever their lips would come together and their tongues began an all too familiar dance, they would become so absorbed in the moment and before they knew it, they had entered some very compromising positions. However, as sure as Liv was that she wanted to take that next step with him, she would always freeze when they got to that point. She hadn't done anything short of making sure he had been at least somewhat satisfied, and blue balls definitely wouldn't be an obstacle they'd endure. But as far as the most intimate act of their bodies coming together as one, Liv still couldn't bring herself to take that step.

The fact that he was such a gentleman about her not being able to take that step made her heart flutter, but also added a sense of guilt to the equation. She was finally given the chance to enjoy a truly normal life, but not being able to make love with a man you care about is far from normal. He was a good sport about it and never forced her to go all the way. He had even refused oral from her, only allowing heavy petting and tantric sex to bring them the relief they both desperately desired. Now, this same man was hovering over her as a thermometer dangled between her lips.

"Ok gorgeous, you are stuck in bed for the remainder of the day. Your temperature is 101.7. I'm going to tuck you in and go grab you some medicine, soup, crackers, and tea."

"You are so good to me. Thank you" Liv said genuinely as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I told you that if you'd give me the chance, I'd treat you the way you deserved to be treated, and I plan to honor that vow and whatever others we have the ability to make. So, tell me, what do you need?" He asked as he helped her out of her clothes and into her favorite pair of silk pajamas.

"All I need is for you to lie down and hold me for a little while. Can you do that for me?" Liv asked as she pulled the covers up to her chin and wiggled her body into the center of the bed. She smiled as he didn't respond, but instead walked around to the other side of the bed and stripped down to only his boxers before climbing into bed behind her and pulling her into his arms. Once they were settled into bed with her head resting comfortably on his chest, Liv closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Fitz stood in the oval, looking out of the North East doors that led to the Rose Garden. He had always wondered why this location had been chosen for planting roses, as it didn't seem practical to him. Of course the residence was located on the other side, but wasn't there somewhere else they could have planted the first lady's flowers? Somewhere that wasn't in his direct line of vision for at least 45% of his day?<p>

Presidents spend their days in strategy meetings and briefings. They meet with other world and lead the fight on terrorism. At times they must make the ominous decision as to whether or not he should lead this great nation into war. Not once during any of these moments do roses enter as an urgent thought in their minds. If anything, a basketball court should be placed where the rose garden now stands. Maybe world leaders could let off some steam shooting hoops while talking over peace treaties. To Fitz, this made more sense.

There once was a time when Fitz loved the rose garden. He would often look out of those same doors, and reflect back to a much happier time. A time where nothing and no one stood in the way of he and Liv sharing their special moments in said garden. A time when "when and where" they would meet, were the only obstacles in their way.

Fitz used to find peace and comfort as he stood watching the roses bloom. He would often think back to that chilly evening in March when he and Liv first professed their love for one another. Now, when he looks out of those doors, all he sees is a painful reminder of something that he craves more than oxygen; something that may never be.

Instead of the source of comfort and hope it once gave, the rose garden now serves as a traitorous reminder of all he has lost for the sake of remaining in the bubble. Looking towards the resolute desk, Fitz couldn't help but think back to the conversation he had with Cyrus during his first year in office.

"I know I don't get to do what other men do. Above reproach my whole life. I'm not John Edwards, I get it. I wear the crown and that's fine, there's a price. But Liv… Is the love of my life. And she won't even talk to me."

It was almost scary how little progress they had been able to make in their relationship over the past four years since he had had that conversation with Cyrus on the presidential seal. If he were being honest with himself, Cyrus had played just as much if not more of a role in the current state of their relationship.

Just when they thought they had gotten through the obstacles in their path, and found a way to work together to strengthen their bond, Cyrus would come along and plant a little seed into Liv's ear that would ultimately lead to her once again walking away. Fitz often appreciated Cyrus' "pit-bullish" behavior and loyalty, but many times he often wished he could simply put the old dog to sleep. Maybe then he'd have a chance at being happy.

As he returned to his desk, effectively pushing the seemingly pointless rose garden from his mind, Fitz wondered if other presidents thought the same thing. Maybe it was just him. It was probably just him. After all, how many other presidents met with their girlfriend and shared intimate moments in that garden? How many presidents shuddered as they watched their wives enter into the garden to tend to the delicate flowers- all because she wasn't the love of his life? How many presidents tried to end their lives in that very garden with their wife's blood pressure medication that was left over from her pregnancy? As far as Fitz knew the answer was simple. One president had managed to do all of the above in four short years, and he was that one. Fitz was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard Abby making her way towards his office. From what he could hear of her conversation, it seemed that Liv had fallen ill and… her beau was nursing her back to health. Fitz called Lauren and had her send a care package containing the only cold medicine Liv would take, along with her favorite chicken and egg noodle soup. As much as he wanted to, Fitz held back on adding flowers like he normally would. He didn't want to create a problem in Liv's relationship. If he was the one, Fitz simply didn't want Liv to feel as though he was intruding on her relationship. Once Lauren rang back and notified Fitz his delivery was in route, he closed his eyes and thought back to a time when he had been lucky enough to nurse Liv back to health.

**Flashback**

Fitz was reaching the end of his first week in office and it was time for him to begin formulating his first state of the union address. He knew that he could gather with his closest advisors and write the speech anywhere, but he wanted to have a chance to have a little alone time with Liv. Since Mellie had hit the ground running performing her duties as first lady, Fitz knew she'd be hesitant to leave the white house just yet. With that in mind, Fitz decided to take his team of Cyrus, Jennifer, Martha, and of course Liv and head to Camp David for a few days to get some writing done.

When they first arrived at Camp David, Fitz noticed that Liv seemed a little off. She wasn't able to think clearly, and her responses seemed a little off. The more he watched her, the more he realized that she was sick. He ordered the others to take a break in their cabins, and led Liv back to hers.

When they entered the cabin, Fitz wasted no time sending Tom out to gather one of each brand of cold medicine he could find, before scooping Liv up in his arms and carrying her to her room. He laid her down on her bed and undressed her before wrapping her up in his Navy sweatshirt. When Tom returned with the medicine, Fitz spent almost an hour getting Liv to take even a teaspoon of the medication. The first one he had given her, she spat out like a seven year old would. She didn't like the green death flavor of Nyquil she argued as she folded her arms and turned her head defiantly. The process was repeated with four other medications, until Liv finally allowed Fitz to give her a few teaspoons of Theraflu. When she had shown him that she had swallowed her medicine like a good girl, Fitz quickly stripped of his clothing and joined her in bed. He couldn't help but stroke her hair as she nuzzled into his chest and drifted off to sleep.

When Liv awoke a few hours later, she smiled to see Fitz entering the room with a bowl of soup. When she looked inside and saw the chicken with egg noodle soup, she willingly allowed Fitz to feed her as much as her stomach would allow. Fitz enjoyed that time nursing his Livvie back to health, and Liv enjoyed being pampered by the man of her dreams; even if it was only for a few hours. The next morning Liv woke up full of life and ready to tackle the state of the union address and so much more.

**End Flashback**

There was no doubt that Fitz missed Liv with all of his heart. Even Mellie had made sure to verbalize her shock of the fact that they hadn't found their way to one another with her being out of the way as of yet. The longer Fitz sat at his desk, the more he began to wonder if there was a method to Liv's madness. He knew, at least he hoped that she was still in love with him. The fact that she would begin dating someone especially so close to his divorce being publicized, made him wonder if she was simply carrying out her part of the plan they made two years ago, or if she really was just trying to move on. Either way, he knew what he had to do. Whether he ended up with Liv or not, this was definitely a move that he needed to make, not only for himself, but for his children.

* * *

><p>Liv woke up to a gorgeous set of baby blues looking down at her. She was honestly beginning to feel better, and felt bad that she had made her new beau miss his meetings for the day. As much as she loved waking up with a pair of strong arms around her, Liv couldn't help but feel guilty that she was possibly keeping him from doing something else he may have had planned.<p>

"You know you didn't have to stay here all day." Liv said as she looked at her clock and realized she had been asleep for hours.

"Believe me, there is no other place I'd rather be then in this bed holding you right now." He responded as he kissed Liv on her forehead and turned over to prepare a dose of medication for her.

When he handed her the cup with the measured medication inside, Liv scrunched up her nose, until the familiar smell told her this was the medicine she actually didn't mind taking.

"How did you know?" She asked as she drained the cup and chased it with a glass of orange juice.

"Honestly Liv, I didn't. I was dressed and set to head out to the store to grab you some things, and when I opened the door, there were a few grocery bags outside. Medicine, soup, orange juice, crackers, and a few other things were inside. The funny thing is there was no card or note so I figured you had ordered the items and we just didn't hear the door." He said as he took the cup from Liv and walked into the bathroom to rinse it out.

"Hmmm" was all Liv could say as she sat quietly, praying that her emotions wouldn't betray her. There was only one man that could know what she would like or need when she was sick, and the fact that he had gone through the trouble of having someone deliver a care package for her, truly warmed her heart.

"So, I was thinking. If you're feeling better this weekend, I was wondering if you would be my date to the white house gala. I know you already RSVP'd, and I was wondering if you would like to go together?"

Liv looked into his eyes and couldn't help but feel excited. Every time she had gone to an event, she had gone alone. It wasn't like she hadn't heard about Fitz and his new love interest, so there really was no reason for her to go alone. The only time she had taken a date, the night had ended in disaster. Not being one to believe that history would repeat itself, Liv willingly jumped at the chance.

"I would love to be your date for the dinner." She said praying that the evening would go well and both she and Fitz could manage to behave.

* * *

><p><strong>The Gala<strong>

The evening of the gala couldn't come quick enough for either Liv or her date. It had been a busy week for the both of them and they hadn't had much time to spend together since he had nursed Liv back to health. Liv was placing the finishing touches on her ensemble when she heard the ringing of the doorbell, alerting her that her date had arrived. With a smile on her face, Liv checked herself in the mirror one last time before walking through her apartment to welcome her date.

"My goodness Liv, you look amazing."

"I must say that you look incredible yourself." Liv said as she placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Their kiss quickly became heated, and Liv was finding it harder to give into the idea of just staying home and releasing all of the sexual frustration their bodies had pent up. As if he were sensing her thoughts, Liv's date stepped back and stared into her eyes as he enticingly licked his lips.

"If you're ready I think we should get going. That is unless you'd be open to skipping this dinner and enjoying a romantic evening at home, just the two of us." He said as his thumbs slowly grazed over her cheeks.

"Hmmm… As tempting as that offer sounds, I think we should at least pay our respects. This is after all Karen's first official dinner in a first lady capacity. I'd like to go to lend moral support. I'm sure she's nervous and also a little bummed that she won't be able to stay for the entire evening." Liv's date nodded his understanding, and the two of them made their way towards the awaiting limo.

The ride to the white house was full of sexual tension. The two of them had been seeing one another for a month, and still had yet to go all the way. He couldn't refrain from staring at Liv's long toned leg which was revealed by the high split on the side of her white floor length evening gown. The gown clung to her body in all of the right places, and her date couldn't help but lick his lips when he noticed that the split in her gown revealed her entire thigh when seated.

Liv couldn't help but take in just how amazing he looked in his Tom Ford tuxedo and bow tie. The two of them looked as if they had just stepped off the cover of a magazine, and he knew that Liv would have all eyes on her this evening. He was okay with the men looking, as long as they knew that at the end of the evening, she was going home with him.

When they arrived to the white house, Liv felt her heart begin to race as her date helped her out of the limo. It had been seven months since she had last seen or spoken to Fitz. After she had told him she left with Jake, the two of them hadn't had any sort of contact. She wondered how he was doing and if he was happy. She had read that he had taken an interest in the senator of Washington, but no rumors had been confirmed or denied as of yet. Sensing Liv's apprehension, her date slid his arm around her waist, which caused her to relax immediately.

The moment they stepped into the foyer, awaiting the double doors to open, signaling their presence, Liv felt the magnetic pull. It still scared her how they didn't even have to see one another to know they were in close proximity. She took a deep breath as the doors slowly opened, and looked to her date for reassurance.

"You do look amazing my love. Shall we go knock this crowd dead and take our rightful place as the sexiest couple in DC?"

Liv giggled at her date's assumption and although she knew they looked damned good, she could only wonder if Fitz and his date would give them competition for that title. With arms linked, Liv and her date made their way through the welcoming line. When Liv reached Fitz, her breath hitched as their eyes locked. Her pulse began to race, and as he took her hand in his, she felt the familiar surge of electricity raging through her veins. When Fitz pulled Liv into a hug, she tensed up a little in his arms, but quickly melted into the frames she longed to hold her for so long. She could feel his heart beating in sync with her own and she couldn't help but admit that nothing in this world had ever felt so good as being in Fitz's arms in this moment.

"Save me a dance gorgeous." He whispered into her ear before tracing the shell of her ear gently with his tongue as he tenderly released her. Liv could already feel the moisture pooling between her thighs as she stepped back and looked into Fitz's eyes. She knew that tonight was going to be trouble. It wasn't until Karen nudged her that Liv realized that she and Fitz had been staring at one another for at least a minute.

"Mr. President, thank you so much for inviting us to this wonderful dinner. I must say that Karen has done a fantastic job as host." Liv stammered out as she quickly tried to gather her bearings.

"Thank you so much for coming Ms. Pope. I truly hope you are feeling better. I heard that you had fallen ill last week."

"Umm, I am feeling a lot better. Thank you so much, Mr… President." Liv replied with a wink. She wanted him to know that she knew it was him who was responsible for dropping off the care package, but she didn't want to do so to where it would cause suspicion to all around them.

"Fi- Mr. President, I'd like for you to meet my date for the evening. Senator-"

When Fitz looked next to Liv, he couldn't but help the sinking feeling in his gut. This man was younger, much younger, extremely handsome, and single. His piercing blue eyes and chestnut colored hair, along with his passion making the world a better place, reminded Fitz of himself in his younger days. The last thing Fitz wanted to do was shake the hand of the man that currently had his Livvie, but he knew that he had to be a good sport and give her and himself time to get their lives right. The next time they ended up together, because there would be a next time, there would be no looking back. Being the bigger man, Fitz extended his hand and greeted Liv's date.

"Jacob Shaw... I must say it has been a while. I don't think we've had time to speak in years. We must simply catch up." Fitz said as genuinely as he could. Jacob sensed a little apprehension coming from Fitz but brushed it off to possible nerves.

"We will most definitely have to catch up Mr. President. If you'll excuse me, I need to catch up to my date."

"No problem senator. Thank you so much for coming and enjoy your evening."

Cyrus stood across the room with his glass of champagne in hand. He noticed the shift in the atmosphere the moment Liv entered into Fitz's embrace. He took a long gulp of his champagne and prayed that this evening would not be as eventful as he believed it would be.

"I'm going to need something stronger than champagne to survive this shit."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone, so some of you guessed correctly. Jacob Louis Shaw, now senator of the great state of Rhode Island (for this story) is the mystery man. Someone asked me on twitter whether or not there would be struggle scenes between Liv and her man, and I honestly cannot say that I have or have not determined whether they will go all the way. I'm leaning towards them not, but I can never guarantee with the way my mind works. Even if they do, Jacob Shaw is fucking hot so I don't see any struggle sex going on there either way. Next chapter we will have more of the dinner and we will have Olitz's first encounter since Fitz walked out on her in the oval seven months before. We will also see a little from Jake in the next chapter, but I promise, it won't be anything strugglesome. Leave me your thoughts and I will be back as soon as I can be. XOXOXOXOXO<strong>


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